The Four Keys to Designing and Living a Life You Love
Taking a step back for a sec:
I see SO many people living life by default and I want to know—do any of these sound familiar?
You wake up, go to your job, come home, on REPEAT for the past few years. Now you're wondering, "How the F did I get here??🤨"
You're modelling the life 🏡 and the job 🧑🏫 your parents did and encouraged, but it doesn't really feel like YOUR real expression.
Your life is pretty comfy by society's standards 👩🎓, but it's not FULFILLING. You know there's so much more for you.
Now, I want you to think about the people you look up to in life.
Who do you admire?
I would put money 💰 on the fact that these people know these four keys to designing and living a life that they love.
Not only do they know them—they have used these keys to make the decisions that that made them who they are today (and who you admire!)
I wholeheartedly believe these are THE CRITICAL KEYS to unlocking the ability to live a life in alignment. That’s why I am SO excited to get to share them with you in the podcast.
Legend, when I left law and started my business, taking that leap was the scariest thing I've ever done.
Most people are too scared to confront that.
So many of us have multiple dreams of the types of lives we want to live. And yet, so few of us ever really live those lives.
It takes conscious effort, attention, and energy to create an extraordinary 💥 life.
In this episode, I give you the four critical keys to start truly loving and designing a life that you love. I break down each key and how you can implement this into your life!
Let’s create MOMENTUM for your FUTURE 💫
I see you still scrolling! ⬇️
Have you given the episode a listen yet? That’s where all the juicy juicy deets are —Listen on Spotify here.
If you’re here for the overview, keep reading!
DISCLAIMER: This is not a replacement for the podcast episode, and we couldn’t possibly jam in all that in this post.
Ok, ready?
You sure?
Here are the FOUR keys to designing and living a life that you love:
Align your life with your internal beliefs system
Everyone has an internal belief system that creates their reality.
For me, my top two values are growth 🌱 and contribution 🙌.
They are the things I care most about in the world, and if I'm not meeting those values, I'm not happy; I'm not fulfilled; I'm not motivated; I'm not engaged.
If you're in a job that doesn't hit your core value system, no matter how many KPIs or how many pay rises you get, you're likely to never going to experience that true sense of fulfilment, meaning, purpose and depth to what you're doing.
So what can you do about it?
If you don't know your core value system, I encourage you to complete the Untapped Clarity free mini-course.
One of the first exercises you'll do is discover your core value system through reflection. The truth is, you have your own answers, and this course helps you unlock these.
Once you've got your value system and core values, you can start making decisions in alignment with these. You can begin to live your life by design—not default.
That's the formula:
Define + Design + Action = the life that I wanted.
Look closely at whose goals you are chasing
Society has a very particular standard of success.
It's the car, the money, the job title. It’s the home, the relationship, the list goes on. They’re great and all—but chances are they aren’t going to fulfil you like you think they might.
I used to run half marathons.🏃🏻♀️
And I didn't know why because every step was gruelling.
I love hitting goals and pushing myself to my limits, but I never felt the sense of fulfilment or satisfaction I was looking for; I was chasing other people's definitions of success and goals.
It's about having personal goals and then also your soul goals. They are the deeper goals that are truly what you want to create, aligned with your values.
“Ok Bri, so how do I know whose goals I am chasing??”
When you’re in your truth, you’re going to be excited.
You’re going to feel inspired.
There’s a phenomenon where everything FLOWS when you are in your highest alignment. Things start to fall right into place and it feels EASY.
In the podcast I elaborate on how D and I knew that building our home wasn’t actually our goal right now—and how booking flights to México felt true for us.
And we know how wild that must have looked from the outside. Which leads us to the third key…
Learn about [and decipher between] your ego and soul
If you want an expansive, extraordinary life that you love, then it's going to be aligned with your soul blueprint and voice.
So each of us has an ego and a soul within us 🎭
Your ego is the part of you that chases all those societal goals that fit in.
The ego comes from fear, separateness, success, and trying to chase all these superficial stuff.
Note: I don't want to demonise the ego; it is designed to keep us safe and fit in. But it's about not letting that drive every decision.
BUT your soul is entirely around trust, expansiveness, openness, and possibility. And very time I followed a soul-based decision, it never made sense to anyone else.
Following your soul voice is about learning to tune in.
You soul voice whispers. It’s your inner knowing. And an extraordinary life is leaning in and trusting yourself and moving through the fear.
It’s all about learning how to navigate the ego and the soul in every single decision. It’s about self-validating rather than panicking about what everyone else is going to think about our choices.
And hey! We don't always get it right. You’re human. I’m human.
We’re navigating this together, with our values systems as our guides.
Expand your ability to navigate uncertainty
So many of us want to know exactly what our success will look like.
But life is uncertain; if anything, the last few years have taught us this. We have to learn how to sit in the discomfort and sit in the uncertainty of what could unfold.
Here’s the thing. Often when you make soul-based decisions, you actually have no idea what will happen. It can feel like you're jumping off a ledge and there's just this big abyss of the unknown.
BUT THAT’S OK.
To live extraordinary lives, we need to expand into the uncertainty and hold as much as we can in our bodies. It's a reprogramming of our entire nervous system.
Stay with me here.
We all need uncertainty and variety to grow, expand, and explore. And we also need certainty to feel safe in our bodies and in our environment. That's a human need. And so, what you can do is find creative ways to make that brave decision but still have certainty.
If you want an extraordinary life, and you've created this perfect little routine, little certainty vibe, we get to breathe into a little bit of uncertainty, right. And I've found really amazing creative ways for me to create certainty. My habits, routines, and phenomenal community give me certainty.
But it's just how are you getting it? By staying stuck in a place that doesn't serve you anymore? No, that's not going to work.
So we need to get creative.
That's the last key to designing and living a life that you love.
